The Value of Asking Questions

The first step to receiving an answer is being brave enough to ask a question.
Kaitlyn Bouchillon

The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute. The man who does not ask is a fool for life.
Confucius

The art and science of asking questions are the sources of all knowledge.
Thomas Berger

To ask the right question is already half the solution of a problem.
Carl Jung

Asking a question is the simplest way of focusing thinking …. Asking the right question may be the most important part of the thinking.
Edward de Bono

From these quotes three issues arise:

• Asking questions can be difficult. Some people are afraid to ask questions for fear of rejection and also for fear of upsetting the other party. But if you do not ask, you are not likely to receive!
• It is not enough to simply ask questions; you have to ask the RIGHT questions!
• You have to LISTEN to UNDERSTAND the answers. Many people listen to respond rather than to understand.

Not everyone can ‘think on their feet’ but everyone can plan for a difficult or crucial conversation. That involves preparing questions.

Questions can be used to:

• Find out what the other party knows or doesn’t know.
• Find out what they believe and why they have this belief. This includes self-limiting beliefs, which is critical to unlocking the potential of the person.
• Find out what the other party wants. This is especially important in handling complaints and grievances. People often are disgruntled or unhappy about something but when you ask them what they want done, they are unable to tell you. Finding out what will resolve the complaint is key.
• Establish bargaining limits in negotiations. Some people might have unrealistic expectations, asking the right questions can be effective in lowering expectations and coming to agreement.
• Signal areas where settlement may be reached. For example,

1. “If I were to ……. would you be prepared to…..?”

• Trip up a dishonest person who is not telling the truth. This is important in disciplinary matters where ‘freeway questions’ can be used. These seek to block off excuses by starting off with seemingly unrelated easy innocuous questions. For example:

1. When you started here you went through induction on ……. (date). Is that correct?
2. What did you learn about …….?
3. So, you do know the rule about …………? The employee cannot use the excuse that he did not know the rule.

• Help employees to think for themselves. For example, if an employee comes to you with a problem, instead of dealing with the problem yourself, you can ask questions which help them to think through and resolve their own problems. For example

1. What do you think you should do
2. What do you see as the problem?
3. What options or solutions have you considered?
4. How did you come to that conclusion?
5. Why do you need to do anything? Why? and so on.

• Defuse conflict situations by asking questions which get the angry person saying ‘yes’. It is not possible to fight with someone when you are agreeing with them. For example:

1. Am I correct to say that you are dissatisfied because …… (Answer – Yes)
2. And this has been going on for …… period? (Answer – Yes)
3. You are the only person who has been affected? (Yes). A solution can then be negotiated once the angry person has calmed down.

• Keep a meeting on track and to encourage participation. If you are chairing a meeting, asking questions can help participants focus on the key issues under discussion. Quiet people can also be drawn into the meeting by asking for their views and ideas.
• Attempt to quantify and qualify a situation. These are known as scaling questions. Examples may include:

1. So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you to undertake the project?
2. On a scale of 1 to 10 where do your current skill levels in ….. sit?

• Get a yes or no answer if a person is being evasive or untruthful. These are called closed questions. They can also be used in coaching to help a coachee gain clarity.
• Probe for more information. Probing questions may be used to dig deeper into a subject. For example:

1. What evidence do you have to support your claim that …….?
2. What else points to that conclusion?

• Clarify what was said but not fully understood. For example:

1. Exactly what do you mean when you say …..?
2. To make sure I understand you, do you mean …………….?

• Help establish goals. These are known as Ideal Future or Miracle questions. For example:

1. So, if a miracle were to happen and this problem went away, what would you be left with?
2. In order to get to that situation, what steps do we need to take to resolve to get there?

• Encourage yourself and others to reflect on a situation and uncover insights. For example:

1. If you were to reflect on what has happened, what would you say you have learned about dealing with people and about yourself?

• Obtain evidence of whether a job applicant has the experience he or she is claiming. These are known as Behavioural questions. For example:

1. You say you initiated disciplinary enquiries at your previous employer? Tell me about a case that you initiated and how you went about preparing for it.

These are but a few examples of the value of questions. However, remember, like most things in life, the trick to asking the right questions is preparation.

Bruno Bruniquel

CENTRE FOR LEADERSHIP & COACHING (PTY) LTD

Cell No. +27 83 226 3379  |  E: bruno@centre-for-leadership.com