What’s in a name?

“A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important name in any language”.
DALE CARNEGIE
How to win friends and influence people.

Too often we hear people making comments like “I’m just a number around here!” Behind these comments often lie feelings of frustration, powerlessness and lack of recognition. People harbouring such feelings are obviously good material for anyone wishing to target an organisation for industrial action.

For many years, Black workers in particular, were literally just a number – Robert No. 4865 or Samson No. 442! Often the employer did not bother to reflect the employee’s surname on his or her clock card or pay packet.

While there have been many changes since 1995, the way lower level workers are treated in many organisations has not. My previous company ran a Diversity course where two municipal workers had a lot to say about how their new black managers walked right past them without seeing them or greeting them!

If we wish to improve labour relations and productivity in this country, we would do well to remember that relationships at the workplace start with relationships between individuals.

How to improve relationships – get to know the other person!

One way to improve relationships is to simply get to know the other person. The first step is to find out what name the person likes to be called by! And of course, pronounce their name the way they want you to.

That is easier said than done. We have such a diversity of people which means lots of difficult names to pronounce! I have heard so many versions of Bruniquel (Barnacle, Bumsikill, even Bluenickers! etc.) that I have got used to the mispronunciations.

My colleague, Musa Mahlambi, when opening a course introduces himself as ‘Maqaqhelequde’ and he waits for the reaction! It is a great icebreaker with only the Zulu speakers being able to pronounce the name. Then my father who was a sugar chemist, used to deal with a sugar cane grower – Vivakanadarailoo Muktiputi Balia. Why not try pronouncing his name?

Some people get irritated if their names are mispronounced. Others might indeed feel offended, especially if you have known them for a while and continue to mispronounce their name.

If you are the manager and you mispronounce your subordinates’ names, you are signalling that you do not consider them important enough to take the trouble to learn their names. If this is the case, do not be surprised if they feel the same way about you!

Make people feel that they are special

Even the most difficult names can be learned. You just have to practice the correct pronunciation enough times until you get it right!

When you address someone by their name, you acknowledge him or her as a person. Raymond Ackerman was well known for greeting Pick ‘n Pay employees by name – even when the company had grown into a huge business. Great leaders make people feel that they are special and that is why they become popular and are able to achieve greatness through others.

Praise names

Something which few non-Africans are aware of is the practice of praise names used by most African clans. If you call a man by his praise name, you are not only acknowledging him as a person, but you are also acknowledging his ancestors.

You might wonder why Former President, Mandela is referred to as Madiba. That’s right, it was his praise name!

During my early working years spent north of the Tugela River, I became aware of the Zulu practice of using praise names. This came about when I became confused as to the name of a certain employee on my staff. His record showed his name as John Mnguni but everybody called him Mzimela.

Initially I thought Mzimela was his first name until I asked him and was told that his first name was Thamsanqa (igama). After asking a lot of questions, I established that Mnguni was his surname (isibongo) and Mzimela his praise name (isithakazelo). I also learned that all Zulus have praise names and that over the years, some clans have adopted the praise name as their surname.

This means that, for example, one branch of the clan will use the surname of Mnguni whilst another will use the surname of Mzimela. They all, however, consider themselves kin. So much so that a man may not marry a woman with the same surname or praise name.

Since learning about ‘izithakazelo’, I have made it a practice to find out and use praise names whenever I can. People to react very positively to being addressed by their praise names.

For example, a number of years ago while running a course in Johannesburg, I mentioned the value of using praise names as a way of building positive relationships. One of the Black managers on the course was very impressed, so much so that later that evening, he invited me for a drink at a nearby hotel.

The waiters were very busy but my friend managed to attract a waiter’s attention. When he came over, my friend asked the waiter his surname (isibongo). Then he asked me if I knew the man’s praise name (isithakazelo). It so happened that I did. The waiter beamed and within a few minutes we had a stream of hotel staff coming along to find out if I knew their praise names. Needless to say, we had excellent service that night!

I mentioned the value of calling people by their praise names to client, an Operations Manager for a bus company. He really took the advice to heart and started making a list of Zulu surnames and praise names. He phoned a couple of months later to tell me how his knowledge had stood him in good stead when handling a customer complaint.

He had been sitting in his office when he heard a commotion in the front office. He had gone through and had found two very irate young men arguing with the office staff. The two had wanted to hire a bus for a special trip but they had left their booking very late.

When they had been advised that no bus was available, they had become very angry and abusive. My client asked them to step into his office to try to resolve the problem. He politely asked them their names and fortunately was able to recall the correct praise names.

When he asked Messrs Qwabe (Gumede) and Mvelase (Mthembu) to please take a seat, he said that the change in the men was instantaneous and palpable. From being aggressive and demanding – “We demand!” their tone changed to “Nkosane, can’t you please make a plan for us?” He was able to do so and both parties were left feeling good about each other.

Whilst the practice of using praise names has fallen away to an extent amongst urban people of mixed parentage, it is still widely used amongst the isiZulu speaking people, the majority group in South Africa. SeSwathi, Sesotho and isiXhosa speaking people also use praise names.

For example, one of the colourful aspects of the inauguration of the President is the presence of “imbongi” or “diroki”, praise singers introducing an African tradition into proceedings.

In the spirit of reconciliation, let us all try to learn about each other and do things that have a positive effect on the other party. Calling a person by his correct name or more precisely, the name that he likes to be called by, is a very positive step in the right direction.

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